Journey To Wholeness: Personal Healing through Spirit and Soul-self Connection

Inner Power Book Cover Journey to Wholeness is available


This is the story of my personal journey from chronic, debilitating, incurable illness into dynamic health and wholeness. Read that first sentence again. That is a big statement. And it is absolutely true. I share this story with you, along with the healing techniques that worked for me, in the hope that by reading it, you or someone you know will be helped with the process of healing. The life-sucking plague of chronic fatigue immune deficiency syndrome, hypothyroidism, hypoglycemia, asthma and fibromyalgia nearly ended my life. That was my wake-up call. Twelve years later, this book is my answer to that call.

My story is a message of hope and empowerment, as well as a testament to the resiliency and natural ability of the body and soul to heal. It is also a story of excruciating pain and suffering. There are times in this story when I will sound defeated. There are other times when I will sound ecstatic. Those states were part of my process. I have no doubt that if you are on a journey to wholeness, that these states are likely a part of your process as well. That's a good thing. Pain and ecstasy accompany change, and change is an absolute necessity if you are suffering from chronic illness.

Chapter One describes my journey into the hell of a typical day during the ten years that I suffered from these life-depleting illnesses, followed by my search for healing in chapters two and three. Awakening from my rigid life of soulless illusion required a shake-up so great that I could not ignore it. Being a competitive athlete and a once active, energetic person, this shake-up came in the form of a crippling physical illness, forcing me to pay attention to a message I could not deny. The emotional ramifications of such an illness were deep and devastating. Like an onion, layers of hope and pretense, social facade and self deception were peeled away until nothing was left of me but a raw, essential soul. Before I became ill, I wasn?t even convinced I had a soul. In the end, my pure soul was the only thing I had left. It has been said; "that which does not kill us makes us stronger". Through this illness, I was strengthened and initiated into a world of Spirit, light, and self-actualization. Once everything had been stripped away, I was guided toward solutions and techniques to cure what modern medicine considers incurable. The second half of this book describes how this process has turned into a lifelong journey of healing.

But first, it is necessary that you understand this horrid disease. If you are a new sufferer, the first chapter of the book may be frightening to you. If you have been struggling with the illness, you will recognize yourself reflected in my experience. If you are a family member desperate to understand the crisis facing your loved one, this will be an eye-opener for you. You will be guided into the horrors of loss of life, mental and physical capacity, and energy. Together, we will trek into the dark depths of pain, illness, suffering, and depression. Journeying into this story will take you into the personal hell of the walking dead. For though I was alive, my existence was mere survival. In reality, I was dead to the world.

When all was lost and there was nothing else to do, my real work began. I poured precious energy into searching my life for truth. Knowing that there was something very deep feeding this illness, I began the quest for healing in the only logical place that was left to me. I looked deep within myself. As a therapist and spiritual agnostic I had an experiential and innate understanding that powerful messages were being sent as symptoms through my body to engage the attention of my consciousness. Working on that premise, it became my goal to try to understand what these symptomatic messages meant. The painful process of looking honestly at my life ensued.

You will witness here my fight to regain health and vitality through exploring the inner world of my emotions, thoughts, and beliefs using a technique I call the Psyche Inventory. The non-judgmental self-honesty required for this process, combined with the Psyche Inventory itself, is the cornerstone for anyone trying to build a healthy life. It is the key that will put you in touch with your own personal, internal healer.

Long before my healing was actualized, I was Spirit-guided to write this book. By writing and presenting it to you, I consummate the healing I have pursued for so long. In the telling, I have come to a peaceful place with the demons of my former self. It is my gift to you to show you my path of healing so that you might employ my methods to find similar benefit. The Spirits have told me that sharing my story with the world would complete a soul retrieval (or reintegration) for me that I could not experience in any other way. In order to share my story, I had to be willing to delve into the painful past, to reveal the skeletons in my closets and to conquer the demons in my mind. This process, though excruciating, has been phenomenally freeing. The illusions of who I thought I was and who I thought I was supposed to be began to reveal themselves. The real me, my pure soul-self, that was hidden behind expectations, masks, and roles, began to emerge. I never really knew who I was. I only knew that for most of my life, something was missing.

Retrieving these missing pieces has been key in reviving my physical health. This story will guide the reader to a period of time when I searched incessantly. I searched for any possible way to vanquish this monster. Since the medical community had no answers, I tried multitudes of self-healing methods and explored every alternative healing technique available in the mid-Michigan area. I searched for any "witch doctor" in the world that could make me whole. The insights I received from each healing session I had with those alternative therapists, combined with my incessant inner search, began to bring me closer and closer to the truth. The truth was that I had become powerless and dis-spirited. I had lost my soul to the rules and roles of being who I thought I was expected to be as a wife, daughter, parent, competitive athlete and as a career therapist. I had attempted to take care of everyone else around me and in the process neglected myself. I no longer made time for the things that nurtured my soul and everyday mundane life drained my precious life force. I had relinquished my very being to the expectations of society and this was slowly, painfully, killing me.

Prompted by this knowledge and my quest for healing, I allowed myself to begin to explore my connection with Spirit. I received training in hypnosis, visualization, meditation, and Reiki. Each of these trainings led me deeper into the world of Spirits and universal energy consciousness. At last, circumstances led me to training in Shamanism. This would be the turning point in my fight against the disease. I learned to tap into the powerful healing energy of the shamanic journey and connect with my Spirit Teachers. This technique, combined with my own soul-searching, led me to my most profound lessons up to that point. I discovered that the healing "witch doctor" wasn't external after all. The healing "witch doctor" was, and is, me. We all have a healer deep within us that is our true essence, our soul-self. Shedding external pretenses, reconnecting with our soul-self and allowing the Spirits to revitalize us with universal life force energy creates an environment where our natural state of perfect health reigns. In walking this path, I have experienced phenomenal recovery from an illness that science tells us has no cure.

Throughout my story, I share with you how the healing techniques that brought me recovery have evolved into a way of life that retrieved me from near death and transformed me into a thriver, not merely a survivor. If you are struggling with health challenges, it may help you to know where another has gone so that all avenues of healing can be explored. My deep desire is that through my story you will find guidance, awakening, hope and the pathway to your inner self. By sharing my story, I would like to educate interested seekers about the extraordinary healing benefits that are possible when we open our minds, our hearts, and our souls to our inner process and the wonders of the Spirit world.

This journey has taught me that healing is a continual process and a way of life, not a one-time occurrence that is a happy by-product of any one treatment, book, or workshop. It is a process that unfolds and becomes a part of us as we integrate all of our searching and learning into our being. This integration into our core essence and our lives constitutes true and lasting healing. Continued deep healing and prevention is achieved by opening and reconnecting with the energy of the life force that flows through and around our bodies. Open to this energy. Let it flow freely through your body, mind, and soul. I'll help show you how. Healing will happen.